Quote of the Day (2010-10-31)

"I love that bathroom. It's got that high-high toilet. I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-10-30)

Carol: Fucking H.M.O. bastard pieces of shit!

Beverly Connelly: Carol!

Carol: Sorry.

Dr. Martin Bettes: It's okay. Actually, I think that's their technical name.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2010-10-29)

GALAHAD: Now look, I can handle this lot single-handed!

DINGO: Yes! Let him handle us single-handed!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2010-10-28)

Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2010-10-27)

Jim Hacker: "Now look, I realise that you have to have loyalty to your colleagues, but you also have a broader loyalty to Cabinet and its policies."

Sir Humphrey: "I agree."

Jim Hacker: "You agree??"

Sir Humphrey: "Yes."

Jim Hacker: "You agree ... with me??"

Sir Humphrey: "I agree with you."

Jim Hacker: "Who do you agree with?"

Sir Humphrey: "With you."

Jim Hacker: "Not with Sir Frank?"

Sir Humphrey: "No."

Jim Hacker: "You're not arguing with me?"

Sir Humphrey: "No... Perhaps I haven't made myself quite clear. I agree with you."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-10-26)

Uncle Willie: [hung over] Awww... this is one of those days that the pages of history teach us are best spent lying in bed.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2010-10-25)

It IS the bunny rabbit.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2010-10-24)

Bart Simpson: I want to be emancipated!

Homer Simpson: Emancipated? Why do you want that? Don't you like being a dude?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2010-10-23)

Always, no sometimes, think it's me, but you know I know when it's a dream.

I think I know I mean a 'yes' but it's all wrong, that is I think I disagree.

Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2010-10-22)

Edwards: I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word "peppy" and the word "cheap". Peppy and cheap.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2010-10-21)

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

Narrator: So you can breath.

Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2010-10-20)

Larry Lipton: You promised you'd sit through a hockey game, and I promised I'd sit through the Wagner opera next week.

Carol Lipton: I know, I know...

Larry Lipton: I already bought the earplugs.

Source: Manhattan Murder Mystery

Quote of the Day (2010-10-19)

Larry Lipton: Jesus, save a little craziness for menopause!

Source: Manhattan Murder Mystery

Quote of the Day (2010-10-18)

"I don't like the opera. What are they singing for? Who sings? You got something to say, say it."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-10-17)

Naomi: "I thought you were happy-go-lucky."

Jerry: "No, no, no, I'm not happy, I'm not lucky, and I don't go. If anything, I'm sad-stop-unlucky."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-10-16)

I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2010-10-15)

What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1: Bread!

VILLAGER #2: Apples!

VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!

VILLAGER #1: Cider!

VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!

VILLAGER #1: Cherries!

VILLAGER #2: Mud!

VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!

VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2010-10-14)

Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, we are talking about 100,000 deaths a year."

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but cigarette taxes pay for a third of the cost of the National Health Service. We are saving many more lives than we otherwise could because of those smokers who voluntary lay down their lives for their friends. Smokers are national benefactors."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-10-13)

Ilsa: A franc for your thoughts.

Rick: In America they'd bring only a penny, and, huh, I guess that's about all they're worth.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2010-10-12)

Juno MacGuff: Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2010-10-11)

Nash: Alicia, does our relationship warrant long-term commitment? I need some kind of proof, some kind of verifiable, empirical data.

Alicia: I'm sorry, just give me a moment to redefine my girlish notions of romance.

Source: A Beautiful Mind

Quote of the Day (2010-10-10)

Narrator: I flipped through catalogs and wondered: What kind of dining set defines me as a person?

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2010-10-09)

"We're friends. If I'm going to be uncomfortable, you gotta be uncomfortable too!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-10-08)

Lisa Simpson: But I'm so angry.

Marge Simpson: You're a woman. You can hold on to it forever.

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2010-10-07)

Jim Hacker: "When you give your evidence to the Think Tank, are you going to support my view that the Civil Service is over manned and feather-bedded, or not? Yes or no? Straight answer."

Sir Humphrey: "Well Minister, if you ask me for a straight answer, then I shall say that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one thing with another in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say, that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would probably find that, not to put too fine a point on it, there probably wasn't very much in it one way or the other. As far as one can see, at this stage."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-10-06)

Sir Humphrey: "Politicians like to panic, they need activity. It's their substitute for achievement."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-10-05)

[while engaging in a "battle of wits"]

Westley: You've made your decision, then?

Vizzini: Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Westley: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: Wait till I get going!

[pause]

Vizzini: Where was I?

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2010-10-04)

C.D. Bales: [challenged to think of twenty jokes better than "Big Nose"] Let's start with... Obvious: 'scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: everybody take cover, she's going to blow! Fashionable: you know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like... Wyoming. Personal: well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: all right, Delbman, your nose was on time but YOU were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: you know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's IN IT that matters. Humorous: laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it's goodbye, Seattle! Commercial: hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody. He's got...

Everyone: [singing] The whole world in his nose!

C.D. Bales: Sympathetic: aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God? Complimentary: you must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: whoa! I'd hate to see the grindstone. Well, think about it. Inquiring: when you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: saihr, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! Pornographic: finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! How many is that?

Dean: Fourteen, Chief!

C.D. Bales: Religious: the Lord giveth... and He just kept on giving, didn't He? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair? Paranoid: keep that guy away from my cocaine! Aromatic: it must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee... in Brazil. Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped.

[he pauses, pretending to be stumped, while the crowd urges him on]

C.D. Bales: All right. Dirty: your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?

Source: Roxanne

Quote of the Day (2010-10-02)

Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them. They need to know who you wish you were and they need to try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better to fall short of the fake you than the real you.

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2010-10-01)

Mrs. Richards: I've booked a room with a bath and a sea view for three nights. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it.

Manuel: Qué?

Mrs. Richards: What?

Manuel: Qué?

Mrs. Richards: K?

Manuel: Sí.

Mrs. Richards: KC? KC? What are you trying to say?

Manuel: No, no no no. Qué?, "what."

Mrs. Richards: K. Watt?

Manuel: Sí: qué?, "what."

Mrs. Richards: C.K. Watt?

Manuel: Yes.

Mrs. Richards: Who is this C.K. Watt?

Manuel: Qué??

Mrs. Richards: Is he the manager?

Manuel: Oh, Manajer.

Mrs. Richards: He is.

Manuel: Ah, Mr. Fawlty.

Mrs. Richards: Oh, what are you talking about, you silly little man?

[to Polly]

Mrs. Richards: Girl, I start to ask this man about my room, and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty.

Manuel: No, no no. "Fawwl-ty."

Mrs. Richards: Faulty? What's wrong with him?

Source: Fawlty Towers